Is what you see really what you get online?
Relationship experts say the main reason people are skeptical about online dating is because many people are not honest when it comes to what they look like.
As we continue our Summer of Love series, professional matchmakers give advice on how to ditch the deception and catch someone’s eye just as you are.
Professional matchmaker Laurie Berzack says the most important part of being online is the photograph.
“Women can sometimes see a little bit below the surface as well and sometimes love grows for women. What I’ve heard from men is, it’s got to be there from the get go,” she said.
“It’s this smorgasbord, men are very, very visual and they have to have it right then. They don’t really read the profiles, they’re just window shopping,” said Sheryl Spangler, founder of Heart and Soul Matchmaking.
Spangler knows first-hand how someone misrepresenting themselves can be a letdown.
“His pictures were so old he didn’t resemble them at all and when I met him I asked him are you so and so (laughs)…lesson learned.”
Experts say when you lie, everyone gets disappointed, so the best advice is to own who you are.
“Do you need to be a size two to be asked out on a date? No, you don’t, “Berzack said.
She continued, “There are plenty of women who are curvy, full figured, whatever, that are having success online. It’s just that you need to be truthful and post what you look like. You know, that’s really the bottom line.”
Spangler suggests that people ask questions about a person’s picture.
“I advise my clients, or people who are using online dating to ask not how old is that picture, but when was that picture taken because your idea of how old a recent picture is and mine might be different.”
In order to make your picture stand-put avoid wearing blacks or outfits with lots a pattern, and for women, don’t wear chunky jewelry.
Also, have your pictures taken by a professional or at least by a friend with a high quality camera.
“Most importantly, full body shots, you want men to know exactly what you look like right now,” Berzack says.
Lastly, if you’re not comfortable with your body image, then change it. Your energy reflects how you feel.
Berzack’s advice, “You need to own whatever you are. It’s how you carry yourself; it’s your confidence that’s attractive. That’s what’s sexy to men.”