It’s estimated that the world’s population is at seven billion, but even out of all those people, finding “the one” is no easy task.
“It’s just like looking for a job, it’s just like looking for a job,” Kim Johnson says.
FOX8 interviewed Johnson and others for a special series entitled “Summer of Love,” where we share the experiences of people who are getting back into the dating scene along with advice from dating professionals on what people are doing wrong.
Johnson, 46, has been divorced for two years and says it took a while for her to be ready for love again.
“I really did turn into a hermit for a little bit, and I think it’s normal that after a divorce you go through that,” she said.
But about eight months ago, she realized it was time to get off the couch and step back into the dating game. The only problem… she quickly noticed things had changed.
“My last date was in the 90s, so coming back into the singles scene it is so different.”
Johnson says people were texting instead of talking, and the way she was used to meeting guys didn’t seem to be working.
“When your mom is trying to set you up with all of her friends, and all your friends are trying to set you up with their friends, then what do you do next?
Kim turned to the owner of Carolinas Matchmaker Laurie Berzack, a highly sought after professional matchmaker and dating coach.
“People may not believe they can find love, I think everyone can find love,” Berzack said.
Berzack says one of the best tools you can have when getting back into dating is a new perspective and a willingness to take risks.
“And I think that what happens for women in their 40s and 50s and older, and frankly even 30s, is they become a little sedentary,” Berzack said.
She continued, “They hang out with the same friends they’ve been hanging out with since they were in their 20s and they’ve all gotten married and had kids.”
Some key advice, expand your network. Don’t limit yourself to the environments that are familiar and comfortable.
“You need to get out there and you need to do everything. You need to go to parties, you need to go to meet-ups, you need to get yourself online,” Berzack says.
Berzack also suggests that women don’t get hung up on the physical.
“Don’t start getting into he needs to be six foot, he needs to be tall dark and handsome, he needs to have an Ivy-League degree. That’s not what I think they should do. What I think they should do is say, “I’m looking for somebody wonderful, do you know anyone for me?”
As a tall woman, Johnson has learned to become open-minded when it comes to height and says she has learned that it’s okay to date a man that is her height or shorter.
Johnson’s journey is a daily one, but says since becoming more assertive with her dating life, her confidence has increased tremendously.
“I would say to other women that are on the couch, on the fence about taking the next step, it is so worth it and I have learned more about myself just going through the process, than I thought I would,” Johnson said.
Berzack adds, “Every single experience you have, you will learn from and that’s the beauty of really putting yourself out there and being open.”
The “Summer of Love” series will air weekly on the FOX8 4PM news. Each week will focus on a different theme, including what women are doing wrong online and when to date after divorce.